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The ZA Menu

The 7:1 split.

Seven meats, one veg. It’s not a diet, it’s a tradition. Here’s the classic Mzansi braai line-up, with recipes where we’ve got them and swaps you can actually find, wherever you braai.

Final score: Meat 7, Veg 1

The starting seven

The meats

  1. Boerewors (farmer’s sausage)

    The coil of honour. Goes on first, comes off last, and whoever pricks it gets sent to the cooler box to think about what they’ve done.

    Recipe: Boerewors rolls with quick chakalaka

    Can’t find it? SA shops and good butchers sell proper wors. A Cumberland ring will do in an emergency. We won’t tell anyone.

  2. Lamb chops (tjops)

    Salt, pepper, fire. Eaten with your hands, fat crispy, standing up, before anyone else notices they’re ready. Braaimaster’s perk.

    Can’t find it? Loin chops from any supermarket. Get the thick ones, boet.

  3. Sosaties (kebabs, but with gees)

    Curried lamb and apricot on a stick. Sweet, tangy, and the only fruit on this menu that’s allowed near the fire.

    Recipe: Lamb and apricot sosaties

    Can’t find it? Diced lamb leg plus dried apricots from the baking aisle.

  4. Peri-peri chicken (the flattie)

    Spatchcocked, basted, and hot enough to make your English mates go quiet for a bit. Mzansi’s gift to the world.

    Can’t find it? Spatchcock a whole chicken yourself, or buy one ready-flattened.

    Cook it right through: no pink, juices clear, 75°C in the thickest bit.

  5. Rump steak (the big one)

    Thick-cut, rested, sliced on the board for sharing. Ask how anyone wants it done and you’ll be standing there till half-time.

    Can’t find it? Rump or sirloin from the butcher. Thick-cut beats thin every time.

  6. Sticky pork ribs (spare ribs)

    Low and slow, then glazed till your fingers are a write-off. Serviettes are for the weak. Use your jeans.

    Can’t find it? Pork spare ribs or baby backs. Precook gently in the oven if the weather’s being very Pembury.

    Cook it right through: no pink, juices clear, 75°C in the thickest bit.

  7. Skilpadjies (“little tortoises”)

    Lamb’s liver wrapped in caul fat. The bench player nobody picked who wins the match. For the brave, the curious and your oom.

    Can’t find it? Ask the butcher for caul fat. Not feeling brave? Sub on chicken wings. Still counts as meat. Vasbyt.

The lone substitute

The veg

Mielies (corn on the cob)

Charred on the coals, butter, salt, done. That’s the veg. The whole veg department. Ja, technically corn is a grain. Don’t.

Can’t find it? Any supermarket in summer. In November, the frozen ones. No judgement.

TMO review: what does not count as veg

  • Potato salad. Potatoes count, bru. But only as a side. Doesn’t count towards the score.
  • Braaibroodjies. Cheese, tomato and onion toasties on the grid. Tomato is technically a fruit, so legally it’s pudding.
  • Pap and sous. Maize porridge with tomato-onion relish. A starch with ambitions. Sideline only.
  • Chakalaka. Spicy relish full of actual vegetables. Rules are rules: it’s a sauce. Disallowed by the TMO.

Hungry for more? Fresh braai tips and a recipe every Thursday on Jokes & Braai. Lost on the slang? Slang 101, china. Sharp-sharp.

Fan-made braai banter, not dietary advice. Food-safety temperatures follow UK Food Standards Agency guidance. Brand names are deliberately absent: buy whatever your butcher recommends.

Your 7:1 split

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